There’s a version of your parents that only exists in their memory. The child they were, the choices that shaped them, the small moments that never made it into family stories. We tend to assume there will always be time to ask. A quiet Sunday, a future holiday, someday. But someday has a way of arriving without warning.

You don’t need a special occasion to start these conversations. A car ride, a cup of tea, folding washing together. These are often the moments where the best stories surface. Here are ten questions to help you begin.

1. What is your earliest memory? It’s a simple starting point, and often an unexpectedly tender one.
2. What was our family like before I was born? Who were your parents as young people, in love, building a life, before “Mum” and “Dad” were their only names?
3. What’s a decision that changed the course of your life? A job taken or turned down, a move, a person met by chance –  the pivots we rarely think to ask about.
4. What do you wish you’d known at my age? This one often opens the door to the most honest conversations you’ll have.
5. Who had the biggest influence on who you became? A parent, a teacher, a friend. The people who shaped them are often unnamed until you ask.
6. What’s a family tradition or recipe you want passed down? Some things live only in memory unless someone writes them down.
7. What are you most proud of? Not the achievements you already know about – the quiet ones, the private ones.
8. What’s something about our family history I might not know? Every family carries stories that fade a little more with each generation.
9. What do you want to be remembered for? It’s a gentle way to talk about legacy without it feeling heavy.
10. Is there anything you’ve always wanted to tell me, but never have? Leave space after this one. Some answers take a moment to arrive.

These conversations aren’t always easy, and that’s alright. You don’t need to ask all ten at once, or get through them in order. What matters is starting – and perhaps writing the answers down, so they aren’t lost to memory alone.

This is really what preserving a life story is about: not just dates and facts, but the small, specific details that made someone who they were. At The Dash Project, we help families capture these stories in a lasting digital memorial, so the answers to questions like these can be kept – and shared – for generations to come.

If this resonated with you, we’d gently encourage you to start the conversation this week. It’s a gift, both to you and to them.